Tantric sex, a form of sexual & spiritual intimacy based on the ancient Indian Wisdom teachings of Tantra.
It’s the Yoga of Sexuality.
The word comes from the root "tan" (meaning to become expanded) and "tra" (a method for doing so).
So, tantra is literally a method for expansion or moving beyond limiting beliefs. Because tantra is such a broad concept, it's accessible to everyone regardless of their religious beliefs, and its intertwining of spirituality and increased mindfulness can be applied to a variety of situations the most well-known of which is (you guessed it!) tantric sex and tantric sexuality.🤍
What Is Tantric Sex?
Tantic sex focuses on establishing a spiritual and energetic connection with yourself as your first & best soulmate. You then take that connection with self and apply it to a partner during intimate interactions. Tantric widom & philosophy was actually one of the first traditional doctrines that did not see the body and sexuality as problematic or separate from god; in fact, it connects our sex and spirituality. Conscious sex is a form of meditation.
Rather than emphasizing sex acts, Tantric sex is more about the whole person and the mind-body connection. When you combine sex with mindfulness and a positive regard for your partner or yourself, there's magic there, Silcox says. That magic? It's the ultra-intimate connection you'll ideally feel with your partner, as energy moves within and between your bodies.
What Are the Benefits of Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is a sacred spiritual practice that may take, well, practice. There are six primary keys that you can learn to unlock deep layers of sexual and spiritual intimacy with your partner. To derive the full benefit, remember that energy (chi or prana) comes from the mindful, loving attention between partners. Intrusive, critical thoughts can, of course, get in the way of our expansion and block the flow of energy. Practice shutting off your thought processes to experience the full effect of Tantric sex is part of how this ancient wisdom and technology is designed so that we can become liberated from these limited blocks.
1. Supports Health
Studies show that mindfulness and various forms of meditation (including tantric sex) offer numerous health benefits. According to the National Institutes of Health, research suggests mindfulness-based treatments can possibly lower blood pressure, improve sleep, and aid in pain management.
2. Increases Closeness to Self & Other
Looking to nurture intimacy within your sexual relationship? With Tantric sex, partners are truly present with each other, which helps them feel more connected, explains Valentine. You'll likely experience feelings of intense connection and a flood of loving emotion towards your partner. Again, this practice begins with yourself first because if you’re not able to be present, it will be challenging to be present with a partner, which is why tantric sex is a great practice solo.
3. Reduces Anxiety
Tantric sex (and meditation in general) can help calm the nervous system, according to experts. "All of us are walking around with hardened armor in the form of stress," says Silcox. "Being present enables us to soften."
Tantric Sex Positions to Try
If you associate tantric sex with the Kama Sutra (an ancient Indian text on love and sex), you're not alone. However, poses like the lotus or closed box are not part of the tantric tradition. In fact, specific sex positions are not important to tantric sex, as there are no rules for how to practice. Tantric sex is intuitive, creative, and spontaneous, with a focus on mindfulness throughout the practice.
Instead of focusing on positions, try to be present and take it slow. Whichever positions you choose, make sure they're comfortable and right for your body. To start, feel free to try these intimate sex positions, tailoring them to suit your needs. You can even try these positions clothed for a non-sexual connection.
Sex Breath
This tantric breathwork practice focuses on erotic breathing, visualization, and sensation meditation. when you do erotic breathwork practice soloed, you really get your body alive and energized. Your arousal gets built even before you begin to connect with your lover. as a shared practice, you and your partner can begin to visualize sexy fantasies that you'd like to experience together in the privacy of your own mind. You can also use these practices to shed any shame or inhibitions you may have in the practice before you come into connection to explore tantric sex and lovemaking
Yab-Yum
This position focuses on the union of your joint energies. To try it, have one partner sit cross-legged, while the other sits on their lap and wraps their legs around their partner. The "base" partner's arms should encircle their partner's waist, and the top partner's arms should wrap around their partner's shoulders. Gaze into each other's eyes and coordinate your breathing while you move together slowly.
Hand Over Heart
While looking into each other's eyes and breathing together, bring your hands to your own heart. Then, place your right hand on your partner's heart while they do the same to you. Next, each of you should place your left hand over your partner's hand that's on your heart. Meanwhile, reflect on your feelings of love or desire for them, coaches Valentine.
Focus your awareness on the energy within your heart.
Then imagine moving that energy down your arms in a color like gold or pink; move it out to your hands and to your partner's heart. While you're sending out heart energy to them, they're doing the same for you, and it becomes an expanded energetic circuit of union.
Tantra Massage Techniques to Try
A massage, dancing, and a warm bath can all help prepare the nervous system for soul-connected sex. Slow down and focus on your body first, then your partner's body. Devote your attention to being the world's greatest lover to your partner, and they will in turn devote that same attention to you.
Breast Massage
Ancient tantra wisdom says the breasts were considered to be the guardians of the heart and the gatekeeper to the womb. You had to calm the guards down for the heart to relax and allow the rest of the woman's body to open. Breast tissue takes 15 to 20 minutes to become fully aroused, so use clockwise motions, lift your breasts upwards, and make circles in the center all before you even touch the nipples; those babies go last.
Yoni and Lingam Massage
Yoni refers to the vagina and clitoris, while lingam refers to the penis. Science has confirmed that it takes a woman's genitals up to 45 minutes to become fully engorged, so I am encouraging couples to slow down and take their time. Men should move ½ the speed they normally touch their woman, so get into the masculine practice of “cooling” while assisting in the feminine practice of “awakening” the feminine fire, also known as responsive desire. It is all about being mindful, after all!
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If you’re realizing there’s more you want to learn about tantra, feeling called to reconnect with your desires, or bringing more passion, pleasure + intimacy into your relationship, I’d love to support you.
