A dream I had before I married him…
Hey Honey💋
First, a warm welcome to all the new faces here, especially those of you who recently found me through POPSUGAR or came to my Tantra for Couples workshop here in LA. I’m so happy you’re here!
’m trying something a little different with these emails: sharing one teaching and one love note or personal story each week.
And today feels like the perfect day for a love note.
Because today marks two months since I married my husband, Naeem. 🤍
And I want to tell you about a dream I had right before I married him.
In the dream, I was shown two loves.
First, I saw someone I had once loved very deeply.
And the dream showed me everything I had loved about that relationship.
Fun. Novelty. Adventure. New people. New experiences. Spark. The feeling that something exciting could always be around the corner.
But right alongside those things, I could suddenly see what had been missing.
Safety.
Consistency.
Commitment.
Deep intimacy.
The feeling of being protected and truly cared for inside the relationship.
Then the dream showed me Naeem.
And what I saw was so different.
Devotion. Depth. Togetherness. Stability. Safety. Care. The way he tends to me and our relationship.
Emotional intimacy.
Family. Longevity. Wholeness.
And also...
Desire. Polarity. Attraction. Passion.
The feeling of being deeply loved and deeply wanted.
I woke up from that dream with the calmest, most overwhelming realization:
I chose the love I actually wanted.
Not because I had never loved deeply before.
I had.
But because somewhere along the way, I learned that loving someone wasn't enough reason to abandon the kind of love I knew I wanted to experience.
And looking back, I can see how many times my journey asked me to make that choice.
To choose myself.
To choose my pleasure.
To choose my desires.
To choose the possibility of more instead of staying with what was familiar because I was afraid of losing love.
And eventually, all of those tiny choices became this life.
This love.
This marriage.
Two months in, I still look at my husband sometimes and feel overwhelmed by the fact that I get to experience a love that feels safe enough to rest in, deep enough to grow inside, and alive enough to still make my whole body say YES.
He is my fireplace.
Maybe that's what I really want to leave you with today:
Sometimes choosing yourself doesn't mean choosing against someone else…or letting go of the need for excitement in love, or the joy of novelty…it’s just not chasing the fireworks, drama stories, or running into the fire blindly because you are in truth of your heart.
It means becoming honest enough to stop negotiating with the deepest desires of your heart.
Because perhaps the question isn't only:
“Do I love this person?”
But also...
“Is this the kind of love I want to build my life inside?”
I'm so grateful I kept choosing my answer.
~~~~~~~~~
If you’re realizing there’s more you want, but you need support finding the voice to ask for it, reconnecting to your desires, or bringing more passion, pleasure + intimacy into your relationship, I’d love to support you.
