The Beauty of Exposing Yourself to Rejection

Exposing Yourself Brings Restoration, Repair, & True Love.

Every year I choose a word to work with an intention and a tool to express the word so that I can master the skill and the tool as a year-long learning lesson. I’m committed to learning and growing for as long as I live. Last year for 2022, my word of the year was EXPOSE - My tool was Communication.

My intention was to expose all parts of myself so that I can know myself down to my core essence - as the Goddess embodied. My true Divine essence is beyond what I have known myself to be before.

This path…..woah…what an endless journey into the divine essence that created me. A year of constant exposure to rejection, unfolding in mysterious ways, in service to truly loving myself that are still rippling the waves of my core. The BEST kind of exposure therapy. Exploring my sacred heart with tender devotion, compassion, and admiration for everything I discovered. The light and the dark within - no more hiding - calling it all Divine.

This word: EXPOSE didn’t come as major solutions or straight answers - it came in as whispers and subtle magnetic pulls into different directions that I had anticipated. Each was an invitation asking me to EXPOSE how I truly felt, what I really needed, how I was thinking and giving meaning - all out in the open. Each time I would take a deep breath before speaking the microscopic truths that nudge at me to open my heart more.

I shared the whispers of my heart with everyone who was in front of me, even when it was hard, even when I didn’t want to, and withhold… I exposed myself.

It was scary & hard at times but it always opened my heart to receive more love from myself. I ended romantic & sexual relationships with men that were not meeting me in ways that I knew I needed, I shared on social media more radical ideas than I ever have along with my sexy, spiritual dating life filled with lots of Sex & the City moments. I shared intimate moments of me in the bath, in bed, after lovemaking, some of my pleasure practices, and lots of the juiciness that was my life. I was also exposed on social media by “friends” who were following me and felt triggered so they began to report my content.

A full year of practice sitting with my core- the Goddess within-honoring her wisdom.

This word delivered HARD CORE with an entire reality shift that I could have never seen coming. I began the most incredible relationship of my life with my now partner, I became bicoastal living in both Puerto Rico and LA, I stopped going out to events because all my friends aka the “cool kids” were there and choose to rest & restore my body to be more energized for my creative projects. I started my podcast, was weightlifting out 3-4 x’s a week, and stepped away from friendships that were draining my energy and repairing any energy leaks. It was all flowing and I was in love with my intention… then at the end of the year I got banned and canceled -not only one 1 but all major social media platforms and was officially CANCELED by a culture that didn’t like who I was being or the things I was sharing. SHOCKING>

This hit me so hard impacting the streams of income I have developed over the years and years of hard work, now gone. My heart sank…being deleted from every major platform was a big, hard shock to my system. It impacted my business, my confidence & my heart as I had so many loving connections with my community that I cultivated which were now taken away from me in an instant.

Heartbreaking yes, crushing NO - here’s why:

I was so tapped into my core that all I could hear was my inner voice speaking to me reaffirming the trust I have in myself, my voice, my message, my purpose, and my path. I was firmly rooted in my WORTHINESS I didn’t let this canceled future take me down into a shame spiral as it does for so many others who experience being canceled publically in this modern-day witch hunt.

If you haven’t listened to my latest podcast episode as I go into real, candid detail on the day I found out go listen to it here.

I go into what it is like to still show up hard for yourself like a Queen and creator of your own reality when life knocks you out with a curve ball. You get to be IN the experience with me and learn how I masterfully navigate a devasting, worst-nightmare experience in REAL TIME>

It has been a painful past 2 months for me but I’m not going anywhere- I’m still here standing strong continuing the expose all parts of my being to my new partner, friends, family, and most importantly to myself. The messy, beautiful unraveling of truth in service to knowing the depth of my core and what I’m truly made of - powerful Goddess energy fueled by love and a deep passion to help.

I have breathed, danced, cried, moved my body, and used all of my tools to hold myself and allow myself to be held. Focusing on keeping my energy HIGH and making sure that in a beautiful state as I navigated was my TOP priority because I didn’t want to get stuck….stuck in the sort, the anger, the blame, the upset, and frustration…

I used all of the tools that I teach my clients to hold myself, stay open to love, shed all the layers allowing these parts to die, and move through it like a Tantric Queen.

The daily devotional practice of applying so much compassion for myself and the part of my heart that was healing inside any old stories of rejection that came up due to being canceled on social media. I then found out in the same week that I was banned on TikTok and that my podcast production company was also dropping me due to my content and the employees not being comfortable editing my content due to their strong religious beliefs. Jaw. Dropping.

Being a passionate Middle Eastern woman living her message as a force for good and igniting pleasure in the world isn’t an easy mission, especially when we live in a world that still tells me to BE LESS - yet I will not stand down. I will pivot, I will shift, I will love, I will dance, move, and learn the rules so that I can play the game better, stronger, and faster because so many people need the support that I have to offer but I will not become less or be silenced. Period.

Just as the phoenix rises, I am restored and uplifted even higher as this whole opportunity has helped me grow and mature in ways that only a hard time like this could bring. Each challenge has the power to be a beautiful blessing of change if we choose to it hold as such inside of us. As within, so without.

Bless this journey as it showed me exactly who I am at my core ✨✨

I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts on this unforgettable conversation by hitting reply and sending me an email. I read every message I receive ⭐⭐⭐

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