Radiance happens by diving head first into your darkness. The grief, anger, pain, frustration and all the feelings that keep us turned off as we move through life instead of enjoying it. By giving myself permission to unleash my inner storm of rupture , I allow the little girl who never got to grief, shout, pout, or ball her eyes out as she sat on the floor in feelings of betrayal to be seen and have a voice. The kind of Rupture I'm talking about lives inside of every woman whether she is conscious to it or not-be it rape, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, being ignored or rejected-it is the very thing that gets us angry as woman and turns us off from our potent essence: our ra• di• ance.
When I was unconsciously navigating my life and before my spiritual awakening, sensual journey & initiation into my own pussy power occurred, I would assume that my feelings of disconnection and upset meant that It was time for me to go out on a date, veg out on the couch, sleep with a hot and sexy man that I would find on a dating app or find someway to completely distract myself from feeling all the feelings that were stirring inside of me. For years I held my rupture at bay because I didn't want to be "too much" or taken over by the intense sadness that would knock on the door of my temple. This coping mechanism worked until one day it no longer worked and I found myself feeling so small and disempowered. Cue the victim please! The world is mean, no one likes me, stories on stories that yet again were distracting me from really feeling my way into the fire of my heart. What I have learned and what I am sharing with you is that your rupture, your pain is the key to unlocking your radiance. I didn't get here because my life was perfect and easy and everyone loved me and saw me as the magical goddess I am today. When I feel myself dimmed and angry at life, its a good indictor that its time for me to go into my rupture and allow it to rock my body. I was victorious in overcoming adversity and feeling all the things I didn't want to feel like crying my eyes out for 6 months over the ending of a 3 year soulful relationship that I didn't want to let go of and yet I knew there was no other way to my happiness. As recently as Friday night I went out and watched this beautiful show at a hotel in West Hollywood and in one performance I witnessed the struggle that goes in relationship when addiction and drugs are involved. They played the scene out so beautifully that it opened up a well of emotions that I had no idea where hiding out within my heart by just witnessing their storm. It brought up thoughts and emotions connected to my mother as she battled with addiction and harsh relationships when I was in my early teens, witnessing her destructive path and her forsaking the very temple that was housing the divine goddess energy of her spirit. That night I broke down hysterically into tears as soon as I got home, I let the flood gates open for a good two hours without judging what I was feeling or trying to figure it out or make myself wrong for feeling what came up. As I woke up the heaviness was still present, what I find is that just one way may not work to shift my storm, so Imoved into dance and put on some music that I knew would pull deeper at my heart strings. Unleashing my hell storm of anger shifted me into a state of pleasure and turn on, reminding me of the radiance that always exists within me as I feel my ass and hips move dancing my way back into my light right in my living room being witnessed by my sisters. There is something super potent about being witnessed in your pain while being held in sisterhood, it makes everything you are feeling acceptable and supported so we can move through to the other side of ecstasy.
The contrast of emotions, the polarity of being in a physical body with a full rainbow spectrum of emotions and the privilege of being the feminine. Our innate nature means that we can smile until our cheeks hurt and in the next moment we can cry until we've created a river with haling skies. The greatest teachers and biggest lights in the world have endured the darkest of days. We need you bright and shiny sister for you too posses divinely potent magic within that is medicine for us all and your radiance is waiting for you on the other side.
Josefina aka Pussy Priestess
I spent many years looking for love in the bottom of a shot glass at endless nightclubs, bars, and events and at a low point in my life I realized that no amount of alcohol, sex, and partying could satisfy my deep appetite for love. I discovered, through this perfectly designed journey of pain, that the love I was seeking was never outside of myself, it was patiently waiting to be reclaimed and unleashed. This Blog is medicine-Its my medicine to anyone who needs and desires it on their personal journey to reclamation.